Relationships often end due to a breakdown in communication, unmet expectations, or unresolved conflicts that erode trust and connection over time.
When couples struggle to address recurring issues effectively, resentment can build, leading to emotional distance. Key factors such as a lack of respect, differing values or goals, and poor conflict resolution skills can exacerbate these challenges.
Incompatibility, infidelity, or external stressors like financial difficulties or work pressures also play a significant role in driving partners apart.
In any case, as the holiday season concludes and the new year approaches, many individuals reflect on their personal relationships.
According to relationship coach Brett Parker, a single trait can predict the likelihood of a breakup with 94% accuracy.
Parker references a study by renowned relationship experts Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, who analyzed couples over a 14-year period.
Their research focused on conflict resolution styles within relationships. Parker explains, “They found that the way that they argue accurately predicts whether they stay together or whether they get divorced.”
The critical factor identified is whether partners “argue to win” or “argue to understand.” Parker elaborates, “So when you’re arguing with your spouse or your girlfriend or your boyfriend, are you trying to win the argument, or are you trying to understand their point of view?”
Couples who engage in arguments with the intent to understand each other’s perspectives are more likely to maintain a healthy relationship. Conversely, those who argue with the goal of winning are at a higher risk of separation.
The Gottmans’ research also identifies the “four horsemen” of divorce: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. These behaviors are strong indicators that a marriage may not last beyond five years.
Additionally, the Gottman Institute notes that about two-thirds of all arguments in relationships are perpetual, meaning they recur without resolution. This underscores the importance of effective communication and understanding in sustaining long-term partnerships.
In summary, adopting an empathetic approach during disagreements—prioritizing understanding over winning—can significantly enhance relationship longevity. As the new year begins, couples may consider focusing on constructive communication to strengthen their bonds.
